"Why not? We're like girls." I guess." That was all I could say. Then I recalled how much I enjoyed dressing up as a girl, and that Ireally could look like a girl. I knew that as we walked home, my chubbythighs were rubbing together, my wide hips were swaying and my breastswere jiggling. "I sometimes wish I was a girl," I blurted out.Erik looked at me, not saying anything. I felt so embarrassed. Why had Isaid that? He must be thinking I'm weird.Then he smiled, and said, "Me too." Really?" Oh gosh yes. Did you see me in gym? I hate my body, but I keep thinkinghow nice I'd look in a dress."And, he would look better in a dress than in his boy pants, which weretight fitting, his cheeks filling them out to the point of bursting, hischubby tummy bubbling over his belt."Oh, me too," I agreed. I knew my body was made to fit in girl clothes,after my recent venture into my mom's outfits at home. Erik stopped walking, grabbing my hand, pulling me back. "Look," he said,"I never said this stuff to. She shrugged and said no more. ‘Do you take lots of risks?’ ‘Don’t we all?’ I asked. ‘I’m a day trader and very good at it if I do say so myself but I never risk it all, never more than I can afford to lose. No matter what happens, this house is mine.’ ‘But it wasn’t supposed to be, was it?’ ‘No, it wasn’t.’ ‘May I ask what happened?’ ‘It was not be,’ I replied not offering to give any more details, not sure I could to such a stranger, hadn’t really told anyone, even myself exactly why. The buzzer sounded and she stood up and we both bounded up the stairs and I asked politely ‘and you don’t have a boyfriend yourself?’ Now it was her turn to be silent. ‘No, not now.’ She grabbed her dry clothes and dashed into the guest room. We left serious discussion behind and talked of bicycles and rides and music and art and movies and all manner of somewhat superficial things (except perhaps to my mind the bicycles) and the rain slowly let up and then almost stopped. ‘I think I can make it home.
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